February 4: Rollercoaster

Yesterday morning I went to the doctor because I was having a strange pressure in my right side.  Back in 2011, the drs found a cyst on my left ovary and the ovary and tube needed to be removed as it had taken over my ovary.  Fast forward to yesterday when the doctor told me she felt a mass in my ovary, note the only one I have left.  I held it together in the office but burst into tears many times throughout the day.  The doctor isn't sure what she felt specifically and in order to be cautious, she scheduled more tests to be run on Friday.

It's really hard not to borrow worry, and I have been praying for peace.  Needless to say that's a difficult thing for me, not to worry.  What does this mean?  What if I have to have surgery, or worse? Anyway, God showed up in a very big and unexpected way yesterday.  Near the end of the day I got a call from Texas State and ... they offered me the job!

I would have done kartwheels if I knew how.  I just felt like the institution, people, and program were such a good fit.  All this to say, it's really hard to worry when you are also really excited.  It was a rollercoaster of a day full of almost every emotion.  Thank you, thank you Jesus for this blessing and I ask that you continue to show up in amazing ways on Friday as I go for more tests.

January 25: Outfit Planning

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, or the disaster behind the cute outfit (now that I pointed it out, you're going to look, aren't you).  As I prepare for going to Texas State for an interview, I began planning out my outfits (and cleaning my bedroom).  This with a black sweater will be the third day of the interview outfit.  Don't you just love the skirt?!  I do.  Getting excited and nervous.

January 16: Practice Presentation

In a week and a half I will be interviewing at Texas State University for an Assistant Professor (tenure-track) position.  I'm still swivel between shock, excitement, and nervousness.  As part of the interview, I have to give a research presentation and a teaching demonstration.  Today I practiced my research presentation for two of my faculty.  They both offered good feedback for improvement.  It was even kind of funny to see them offer feedback and disagree with one another.  My dissertation research is such a strange beast, I really have to make it accessible to a general audience.  Next week I'm practicing my teaching demonstration in front of students.  

In other job search stuff, I have a phone interview for a Michigan State faculty position (2-year fixed term).  Frankly, I'm surprised I have an interview (but super excited).  Oh, and it will be the morning I fly out to Texas State.  Yep, fun times.  Aside from those two, I haven't heard a peep from anywhere else I've applied.  

December 20: Wintery Mix Gone Rogue

When I arrived in PDX early Friday morning, I checked the forecast.  Portland was going to greet me with a wintery mix that morning.  Alas, it just rained :(  However, a highlight from the day (aside from seeing my family!) was driving my sister's new car!  Yep, her old one was giving her more trouble than it was worth and she got a steal of a deal on this new Nissan Rogue.  I love it (and may even consider the rogue when my little honda's transmission bites the dust).

December 19: Traveling

Traveling, traveling through the woods...okay, so maybe I don't travel through the woods to get home. But I do take a car, a shuttle, a plane, and more to get to mom's house.  When I travel for the holidays, I take two suit cases, one for clothes and the other (bigger) one usually holds my snow shoes and presents.  Yep, I bring my shoe shoes with me to Portland (it's about the only time I use them right now :).  While at the airport, I also got a cup of deliciousness-Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Winter Dream Latte.  Yumm.  It was a relatively uneventful travel day, albeit long (but that's to be expected).

December 11: Last Semester Registration

Today I registered for my last semester of classes at The University of Georgia (Lord willing).  I used this outdated system from the 1970s only FINAL time to register for 18 credit hours.  I'm not convinced these are the last classes I will ever take.  However, this is the last semester of classes I intend to take seeking a degree!  What a wonderful feeling.  Graduation count down begins.  Yikes!

November 12: IRB Approval

I got an email today that surprised me…it was my IRB approval for my dissertation research.  About a month ago, I submitted this application (to which your advisor has to go in and actually hit 'submit').  A week later, they sent me some minor revisions.  There were things like, uncheck this box, check this one instead.  The final change I needed to make was to attach a letter of support from Georgia Tech.  Anyway, the woman reviewing it said, "I saw you addressed the changes needed, you just need to make sure your advisor hits submit again."  Apparently in the new system your advisor has to hit submit after everything!  Dr. Cooper and I chatted and she said she wasn't going to hit submit until I got the letter from Georgia Tech (I was totally on board).  Then last week, they emailed me and said…hey your advisor still hasn't submitted.  AND I guess they emailed her too…and so she just went in and submitted it (contrary to what I thought was going to happen).  Fast forward to today…I got an email with the approval for my research.  YAY! But it also came as a bit of a surprise.  The email said, we're approving your study…when you get the letter from Georgia Tech, just email it and we will attach it for you.  

All that to say, I'm excited to be able to begin data collection soon!  WOOHOO!  Also…this is the form they sent showing my approval.  All that wait for this one page, non-descriptive approval form (there's not even a signature, ha!).

October 21: IRB Submitted

In order to conduct research on human subjects, you must submit documentation to the institutional research board (IRB) for approval before you conduct research.  The tricky part for me, is that I'm looking at multiple institutions...so I have to do this multiple times.  As you can see in the picture, I started this process at the end of may and FINALLY submitted it today.  I currently have four institutions that are willing to participate in data collection.  In other words, they'll send out emails on my behalf.  Anyway...I'm excited that this dissertation is another step closer to getting d-o-n-e.

Interim Associate Director Position

Two weeks ago today, I was approached with what seemed like an unusual proposition.  After searching for an Associate Director of Student Life for International Student Life (yep, true title) at UGA, I was told they were going fail the search, reconvene in the fall, and they wanted to know if I'd be interested in serving as the interim for the fall semester.

What an honor to be asked, right?!  But now what?!  Well, I asked for a day or two to consider the offer... and I prayed.  I also talked to wise counsel including a couple friends, my family, and my supervisor, Jan.  Jan, the supervisor who I just love working with, and by taking this position I'd move under different supervision.

I weighed all the pros and cons and as I became more and more excited about the opportunity, my prayer became, "God, if you don't want me to take this, close the door."  I prayed this because I knew there were things that would still need to be worked out (i.e., working and school, and I live on campus...and making sure I could still live on campus).  On Thursday, I spoke with TW (who would be my supervisor) and told him I was indeed interested.  We then got to working on details.  Friday we exchanged the information we found out and came up with many possibilities that just weren't seeming to work out.

The problem is that when you work full time, you have to be on a tuition assistance program (TAP) in order to get your credits paid for.  Apparently, it was going to take the Board of Regents signing off on it to make it happen for the fall semester.  This was clearly not an option.  We then discussed me not registering for courses.  This also was not an option.  We talked about me registered for 6 units and them paying me more to accomodate this.  This ended up being more of a headache too.  Meaningwhile, in talking with others one of my biggest concerns was having time to continue working on my dissertation.  Mallory suggested I try to negotiate for 30 hours a week.  I thought this was a wonderful idea, but frankly, I wasn't sure TW would go for it.

Friday at 3pm, TW and I meet to discuss options and he had an offer.  What he proposed was that they bump my assistantship up from 13 hours a week to 20 hours, I work 30 hours a week, and they pay me the extra hours I work in the fall throughout the spring semester.

I almost sat in awe...but jumped at the offer!  I almost teared up sitting in his office thinking about how God provided this opportunitiy, and the flexibility of 30 hours a week, even without me asking.  Furthermore, as much as it is a wonderful opportunity, and a resume filler, it also is a financial blessing as my car transmission is on the fritz, not to mention all the extra costs associated with my final year of this PhD program.  Again, God provides.

After accpeting, I then went to speak with Jan about it!  The next part is where I really did cry.  After talking with Jan, there was some confusion about how the money would work out.  She trusted TW to be fair, but wanted to make sure I was being compensated.  Long story short, her and another colleague began crunching numbers to make sure what I was offered was comparable to working full time.  For me, the tears came as I realized just how much these people cared about me.  I have loved working with them, and frankly not working with Jan this semester was on the list of cons.  But to see their care and concern for me was moving.  Luckily, in the spring, I will go back to my assistantship and work with them again!

So last Monday, August 12th, I started my role as Interim Associate Director of Student Life for International Student Life.

Little did I know that three days later the division of student affairs would go through a reorganization, I'd get a title bump, and become part of the Vice Presidents leadership team.

But that's another story for another day.

Ephesians 3:14-21

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.

Facing Forward to Fall Fun (LOVE an alliteration)

I realize it isn't fall yet, however, on Monday, we will welcome back the graduate assistants and on August 12th another school year will begin.

Crazy.

I'm looking forward to this final fall (Lord willing) at The University of Georgia for many reasons.  First, I love the season of fall.  It bring crisp air, vibrant colors, and lots of things to look forward to, such as:

On Sunday, my friend Tiffanie (from Baylor) will be moving down to Athens to begin her doctoral studies within higher education (another program, but still).  AND, we will be neighbors...literally, she is going to live right next door.  Super excited face (for those who know Tiffanie, you understand the reference).

Moreover, all the GAs will return on Monday for the Dean of Students orientation, for which I'm responsible.  We move students in on Tuesday (physically move them in), and next Monday classes begin. Yikes.

I'm also excited about a writing retreat with my friend Kristin over labor day weekend in Tennessee, a visit from my sister in late October, the ASHE conference in November, and...

Cabo for Thanksgiving!

Yep, I'm headed back to Cabo with Megan's family!  I'm so excited (and thankful I had frequent flyer miles to pay for the flight) AND for their generosity in the invite!

From there Christmas is right around the corner and that means a trip (hopefully) back to California and Oregon.

Like I said, lots to look forward to...and yet, I don't want to wish the weeks away.  In these moments, I try to practice presence, albeit my excitement!

Dissertation Prospectus Defense

I love to write.  I do.  Yet in the myriad of papers, projects, and chapters, my love of writing has been tested.

For me, writing is processing.  Since I'm a verbal processor, this avenue allows me to think freely while also slow my brain to the speed of my pen (or keystroke).  That said, I realized the other day how long it had been since I updated this blog.  Without trying to give too many excuses, and I have a few, I will say part of this blog has also been a place to update family and friends on life happenings.  This often includes pictures...and I have run out of available space to post pictures.  I need to do something about this, and quickly, for as much as I love to write, I also love the ability to capture moments and share those through words and pictures.

Anyway.

An exciting moment was had on Monday, July 29th around 3:02pm.

This PhD process has been...
     rough
          challenging
               a gift
                    stretching
                         a journey!

...and it's not over yet.

But another milestone happened on Monday when I successfully defended my dissertation prospectus (Chapters 1-3).  This defense was an opportunity to talk with my committee about my study, what I plan to do, and why I plan to do it.  Truthfully, even though I was nervous about it, I knew it was suppose to be more of a conversation; and it was.  I enjoyed the time to talk about the study, talk through their thoughts/questions, and reaffirm the need and importance of this work.  It also helps that I really like the faculty on my committee!

So another letter accomplished.  D-O-C-T-O

Only ONE more to go!

New Toy

I got a new (to me) iPad!  I've been looking longingly at them for months and months, about 24 months to be exact.  Now, the wait is over.

With the new iPad 3, the iPad 2s were a much more reasonable price.  Moreover, I decided to go for a refurbished one, which meant an extra 20% off the reduced rate.  Anyway, after becoming a candidate and after stalking the apple website for a little over a month, I purchased my new toy.

I'm excited about it and have enjoyed playing with the new toy!  Woohoo, what a fun gift for candidacy!

Give me a C

On Tuesday, September 4th, I found out I successfully passed the written portion of my preliminary exams!  WOOHOO!  Although it is quite an accomplishment, it still feels a bit anticlimactic since I still have to defend orally.

But I earned my C (in D-O-C-T-O-R) and now I'm studying for my T...which will take place on Thursday, September 27th.  If I successfully defend that day, then I will change from a doctoral student to a doctoral 'candidate' (or sometimes referred to as ABD 'all but dissertation').  It's exciting and a bit terrifying.

Somedays I feel this PhD journey is taking for-e-ver, and other days I realize how quickly it's flying by.

It's May?!

April has come and gone. Wow. And in less than 24 hours I will be heading to the airport...no, on a plane to South Africa. Before I discuss that, let me express how wonderful my trip to Texas was...incredibly rejuvenating! I flew in on Thursday afternoon, saw a friend at the airport, went to TCU, hung out with Megan's friends that evening, drove down to Waco on Friday, saw a host of people, paraded visitors in at Common Grounds (CG), stayed the night with friends, saw Adam, Em, & the girls Saturday, more visits at CG, and then back to DFW where Megan and I hung out more and I saw another former student.  It-was-a-blast. 

And now...I'm frantically doing laundry, packing, and trying to cross off my insane to-do list.  I'm not complaining.  I am uber excited.  It's just that I have been going all week (with a program that happened tonight...err, is still happening and I had to sneak away to do laundry).

I am blessed.  I am excited.  I hope I don't forget something essential.

Probably will. :)

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!

It's been almost a year and a half since I've been back to Texas.  Today, I booked my flight for March.  May I be welcomed back with open arms. :)

I'm so excited, and I just hide it, I'm about to loose control and I think I like it.

Global Lead 2012

Last year, my friend Mallory went on a trip to South Africa as a Teaching Assistant.  The trip was to Cape Town and included five weeks of learning history, leadership, and service learning.  When she returned, I was uber excited about the possibility of participating in the following year.  For me, these are many of my loves all wrapped up into one.  First, I love working with college students.  Second, I enjoy traveling.  Third, the study of leadership intrigues and excites me.  Forth, service learning is a passion as it unites academic (classroom) learning with real life experiences that positively impact a community.  Anyway, I had the opportunity to apply for the position. 

Weeks ago, I interviewed with the program director where I got to express my excitement for the combination of many of my passions.  After our conversation, I was hopeful. However, there were many hurdles.  First, I needed to check to see how I would be able to swing five weeks off of work. I have an assistantship that is a 12 month gig.  Thus, I needed to discuss the possibility with my supervisor.  Second, the trip would mean missing the first week of summer session, thus I needed to clear the missed class with my faculty.  Third, I needed to be offered the TA position.

I promptly talked with my supervisor and she encouraged me (if offered) to jump at the opportunity and told me we would figure something out (I love her, have I mentioned that?! Not just because of this, but she is truly a gift!).  I also cleared missing one class period with my faculty.

Well, after a week(ish) of waiting, I received an email. The program director congradulated me and offered me a TA position, the catch...she wasn't sure if they were going to assign me to South Africa or Greece.  What?!  Greece?!  That wasn't even part of the conversation we had...and unfortunately, it would require missing two weeks of summer session.  I emailed her and told her that Greece wouldn't be a possibility (because of classes) but that I would still like to be considered for South Africa.  Meanwhile, I contacted my faculty to see if there was a possibility to skype in for the second class session.  My fear was that if I limited myself to South Africa, I may not get a TA position at all.  After many emails and almost two weeks, it did not look as though I would be able to skype in for the 2nd class session.  In a last ditch effort (having not heard anything from the program director), I emailed her to ask if spots for South Africa were still available and when she thought she'd make decisions...see I already knew Mallory was going back, and another woman in my program had been assigned as well.  I knew there were limited spots and I was anxious to know how long I'd be waiting to know.

After much waiting, praying, I finally came to peace with the fact that it might not be a possibility.  Truly, one day I was sitting in class and we were talking about NHTI (National Housing Training Institute).  NHTI is housed at Georgia and I know a couple people applying for the program in the summer.  The dates would overlap with the South Africa trip, and as I sat and listened to the presentation on NHTI, I felt a peace come over me about Global Lead.  I reasoned that even if I didn't get to go, there was the possibility of seeing both a former supervisor (Dave Rozeboom who applied for the faculty) and Megan (who applied to be a participant) for a whole week!

Now, I know what you're thinking...right after I felt the peace I found out I was going.  Well, you're right, kind of.  That night, I received an email back from the program director informing me that there was an opening and that she wanted to offer me a TA position on the Global Lead: South Africa trip!

I am so excited!  At first, it didn't seem real.  I had waited and waited, and resigned myself that it might not happen. Because, after all, just because I wanted it, and prayed for it, didn't mean I'd get it.  Life is full of disappointments and sometimes things just don't work out.  But this time, it did.  I will be spending five weeks and two days in South Africa with over a hundred college students.

The waiting was also a time to reflect. At one point I became very frustrated and loathed in self-pitty. But after a really good gut check, prayer, and a swift kick, I chose to change my attitude (for one thing), and reminded myself regardless of the outcome God is in control (always) and that I am blessed beyond belief (I have family & friends that love me, food, shelter, clothes, a car, the opportunity to pursue a great education...the list goes on and on). Yet, I am also humbled and grateful for this once in a lifetime opportunity to take students on a study abroad trip to South Africa!

I am blessed.

Disney World: Magic Kingdom

To me, magic kingdom is synonymous with disney world...apparently they aren't the same thing. :) While down for Stace & Andre's wedding, Jennifer and I went to disney.  It was a funfilled day.  I loved comparing it to disney land.  Here is my list of comparissions

• Disney World's Cinderella's castle is much bigger, and much better 
• Small world at Disneyland has a better storefront.  When you walk up to it at Disneyland it's a sight, but at World, it looks like any other random ride.
• Disneyland has all the best rides in one park
• If I had kids, I'd choose Disneyland over world (because you can walk out of the park, across the street to a hotel, take naps, etc) but Disney World you have to take the monorail, or boat, drive, etc, OR pay lots to stay closeby.

There are many other small differences, both are great experiences and now I can say I've been to both, woohoo.  Here are some fun pictures from the experience!

On our way to the Magic Kingdom!

 Cinderella's castle.

 We thought we were in line for the people mover, oops.

I LOVE the toy story ride! Ps. I beat Jennifer :)

 We met up with Stace & Andre later in the day!

 The castle lit up at night! It changed all sorts of colors!

 Oh I forgot, they STILL do the electrical light parade, it was AWESOME!

 I thought they would be all decorated for halloween, not really.

Had a blast with Jennifer and so excited to experience Disney World for the first time!  I cannot wait to return and try some of the other worlds.  I do have a few years left here, so hopefully I can make it down there again before I'm done with this PhD in Georgia!

Interviews for Publishable Paper

I have now completed the six interviews needed for my publishable paper requirement.  I believe I have reached saturation (I'm hearing the same things over & over again).  Once they've been transcribed I can begin coding them and finding themes...from there I will write up my paper, defend it, and then begin working on the other little project (the dissertation).

Woohoo!

Research Progress!

Today was beautiful!  The temperature was 80 degrees and a light breeze.  Just wonderful.

On top of that, I have been working on my research (faculty-student interaction) since I started this PhD process.  However, since the end of January, I began trying to make significant progress.  I was using one woman to try and solicit participants...and after months of trying...I decided to change my targeted population.  After working with one of the student workers in my office, she gave me names of students who would fit my new criteria. 

Since my research project is qualitative, I only need six to eight students to interview.  Well...after today, I have four of the six completed...and another scheduled for Monday afternoon.  I am really hoping that I can find and squeeze another in before surgery (it would be ideal).

So today, after months and moths of standstill, I made a gigantic leap forward!

Coupled with the beautiful weather and getting to walk a dog (pets are great therapy), today was a good day!

Packing (stage I)

Well, it's begun. In July I will transition to Georgia to begin my PhD (stage III (ish)). But for now I begin stage I, packing to move to my temporary Baylor apartment. On May 16th I will be moving I to a temp spot until I leave in July. This is necessary in order to start construction for the new faculty in residence apartment and other renovations. So why am I starting to pak already, you might be asking?! Here is a run down of events leading up to the end of the school year.

May 11th: end of year celebration that my committee has programmed
May 12th: building closes at 6pm for student not graduating
May 13th-16th: perform end of year closedown responsibilities
May 16th: move with assistance from Baylor movers hopefully :) and
make sure all closedown items are done!
May 17th: leave for Cabo!

And no I'm no joking about Cabo. :) it's going to be great. However,
there are so many things o do in closing down a building AND
additional things to do because of the construction that I'd like to
have all my personal packing done by May 10th.

Anyway...here's a picture from the beginnings of stage I.