I've been without facebook for awhile, over a year. And to be honest, I've enjoyed my life without it. However, I also realize it's a good way to keep in contact with my friends and family, especially as I transition to a new place.
As I've contemplated reactivating my account, I had a friend who challenged me to write about some of the things I've learned this year w/o facebook.
Strange as it may sound, I have learned quite a few things about myself and the use of this social networking site.
*I like simplicity.
*I like technology.
*Nothing replaces face to face interactions, not snail mail, not email, not a facebook message, not a phone call, and not a text.
*I am thankful for my friendships.
*I am lucky, I have friends...true, deep friendships!
*I think we as humans crave deep friendship and for some, they desire it so badly that they seek to find it on facebook (or other social networking sites).
*Facebook sometimes made me feel like a stalker. Like I was privy to parts of peoples lives that weren't meant for the whole world.
*Technology is suppose to improve our lives and make us more productive, yet, we work later and often bring our work home?!
*I am a skeptic; all the information people make available about themselves on the internet makes me nervous.
*I don't like the pressure to reactivate my facebook.
*I just don't like societal norms. But let's not get carried away and throw out all societal norms, especially ones like bathing and deodorant.
*I don't like feeling like an outsider.
*If you don't have facebook you miss out on things. Most of the time, I don't care, but sometimes, it sucks.
And here are few things I learned that I want to unpack a bit more...
*I believe in levels of friendship.
*On facebook, I feel I can maintain closer (fictitious) levels of friendship than I would in real life.
*I'm afraid I don't know how to be disciplined when it comes to facebook.
These three things I've learned have a lot in common. A long time ago, in a philosophy class far far away, we learned about Aristotle and his thoughts on friendship. He describes three types of friendship; a friendship of utility, a friendship based around pleasure, and a complete friendship. For me, I believe there are these types of friendship, but I also think there are friendships for a lifetime, a season, and a circumstance. Aristotle would probably argue that mine are intwined and embedded in his, however, he can't argue, because he's dead...and that's not the point. For me, facebook allows me to take friendships that were for a season or a circumstance and give me the facade that they're for a lifetime. I can maintain a false sense of relationship. Meaning, I can look at someone's photos, see their updates, and in some way feel connected to them, more than I actually am. Thus creating a false sense of friendship...redefining friendship. Now, I'm not one to have many friends on facebook. So the friends I have, were/are at one time...friends. But many have simply become acquaintances or friendships that were intended for a season. Now hear me too when I say that some of the friendships I have are for a lifetime and with that, facebook is a superb tool in allowing them (and me) a glimpse into each others lives in ways that only technology can allow (without being in person, obviously). That being said, I also have a hard time being disciplined in the area of facebook. I know this sounds funny and some would say, just limit yourself per week or so many minutes per day. Well, I get sucked in. I know it has something to do with my longing for friendship and the mentioned above.
I'm sure I will think about these things and more as I continue to contemplate my facebook hiatus.
But one this is sure, as I think about these things, I'm reminded how grateful I am for friendship and community. I have been privileged in this life to experience true community and for that, facebook can aid but never compare.
