Incarnation: Presence, Sacrifice, and Love

When I was a hall director, July was full of training.  We'd learn protocols and processes for everything from move in, to changing light bulbs, to emergency situations, to conflict resolution... and eventually to move out.  I loved working in housing.  There were rarely dull days, and being able to live-in was a wonderful opportunity to see students at their best and worst, and visa-versa.  As I would prepare for the upcoming year, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, God would often give me a verse or song that would somehow be exactly what I needed for that season.

As another, and hopefully final, school year (at least for me as-student) approaches, I've been asking God to reveal truth through scriptures or songs.

One of my songs from last year was by Steven Curtis Chapman, Definition of Me. The song is included below.  These words spoke deep meaning to me and reminded me to find my worth and value in Christ...despite the many, many, things that were telling me to find my worth elsewhere (i.e., what others think of me; if I pass prelims; if I defend before/after so-and-so).  So as this year was approaching, I began looking for, and asking God to reveal something to me for this upcoming year.

And then it hit me.  Staring me straight in the face, literally.  On my bathroom mirror I had three words, presence, sacrifice, and love.

Last Christmas I was up in Portland and we were headed to my sister's church for service (when I'm up there, we usually rotate between mom's church & CJ's).  Anyway, I remember the music being loud (I think my mom may have even pulled out her phone for a decibel count) and the young pastor who looked like he belonged in Portland (e.g., skinny jeans, sweater).  Although I cannot remember everything from that service, I remember him talking about incarnation and what it meant for Jesus to become flesh and dwell among us.  He spoke that for Jesus, incarnation was really about three things: presence, sacrifice, and love.

For me, those words resinated for weeks to come.  So much that when I was finally home, I wrote them on my mirror & dry eraser board (yes, it's been cleaned since January... I just keep rewriting those words).  I want them to be a reminder for me to live like Jesus did.  He knew he came to make the ultimate sacrifice, and yet, he lived in the present making the most of his days.  Furthermore, his sacrifice was out of the most amazing love, a love that surpasses my understanding.

Thus, as I broach another academic year that is guaranteed to be challenging and celebratory, my hope is to practice presence when I'm with people, look for ways to sacrifice my time and resources, and love others, even when it's difficult.

Now I need to go practice some presence with my dissertation.


Definition of Me
Here come those words again
I run for cover, I’m dodging them.
But still they seem to find their way
around my best defense
Here come those little thoughts
of all I ought to be but I’m not
I try talking to myself
but I’m still not convinced
I’m good, I’m bad, I’m everything in between oh
I’m this, I’m that, but really God we both know

Chorus
It is Your love that defines me
and Your love that reminds me
it’s not what I do
This life I live, You have given
and in You I am hidden
This is what I know is true
that the definition of me is You

This ladder never ends
I climb up then we slide down again
Still they say you’ve not arrived
until you reach the top
But Your kingdom’s upside down
it is the servant who wears the crown
First is last and last is first
and You’re all that I’m not
‘Cause I’m weak, You’re strong, I’m empty ‘til You fill me
I sing this song to keep myself remembering
[Chorus] 

I have been made by You
I have been saved by You
All that I am is all because of You
I’m weak, You’re strong, I’m empty but You fill me
I’m singing this song to keep myself remembering

[Chorus]

Facing Forward to Fall Fun (LOVE an alliteration)

I realize it isn't fall yet, however, on Monday, we will welcome back the graduate assistants and on August 12th another school year will begin.

Crazy.

I'm looking forward to this final fall (Lord willing) at The University of Georgia for many reasons.  First, I love the season of fall.  It bring crisp air, vibrant colors, and lots of things to look forward to, such as:

On Sunday, my friend Tiffanie (from Baylor) will be moving down to Athens to begin her doctoral studies within higher education (another program, but still).  AND, we will be neighbors...literally, she is going to live right next door.  Super excited face (for those who know Tiffanie, you understand the reference).

Moreover, all the GAs will return on Monday for the Dean of Students orientation, for which I'm responsible.  We move students in on Tuesday (physically move them in), and next Monday classes begin. Yikes.

I'm also excited about a writing retreat with my friend Kristin over labor day weekend in Tennessee, a visit from my sister in late October, the ASHE conference in November, and...

Cabo for Thanksgiving!

Yep, I'm headed back to Cabo with Megan's family!  I'm so excited (and thankful I had frequent flyer miles to pay for the flight) AND for their generosity in the invite!

From there Christmas is right around the corner and that means a trip (hopefully) back to California and Oregon.

Like I said, lots to look forward to...and yet, I don't want to wish the weeks away.  In these moments, I try to practice presence, albeit my excitement!

Twilight & Buechner

With the title of this post, one might think I'm going to talk about my favorite books/authors. However, twilight will first and foremost always be a time of day. Not a book about vampires.

Twilight, or dusk, is absolutely my favorite time of day followed closely by sunrise, although I'll save that for another post.

So, twilight. I love the time of day when the sun sets and yet the earth, or my portion of it, is still lit by the suns remanence. Yes, part of it is spiritual for me, I like the symbolism behind the sun leaving and its effect is left behind. And yet part of it is simply the feeling I get at this time of day. Twilight doesn't last long, it's unfortunate lighting for photography, and yet I relish every moment of it. I seek to be outside and experience the fullness of what twilight offers. It's a beautiful time.

The other night, as the sun set, I was walking around part of Baylor's campus. Baylor is a beautiful campus, green (mostly), red brick which echos prestige, and many large shady trees. As I was walking around, I rediscovered another reason for loving dusk. Fireflies or what they call, lightening bugs in Texas. Having my camera with me, I desperately attempted to capture their magnificence on film. Although I caught 4 or 5 in a minute, the video doesn't do justice to the moment.

I read something about 2 years ago that challenged me to think about life a little differently. The article or book spoke about how we, particularly as Americans, take lots of pictures (guilty) in order to remember the moments, but often get so caught up in the taking of pictures that we forget to live the moment.

I was reminded of this truth once again in another book, the Alphabet of Grace by Frederick Buechner. He says,

Forgot yourself in the dream of daily life, Tolstoy says, and forget myself, yes. To forget myself in the very process of being myself, I ask no better. Perhaps there is no gift more precious than the gift of spontaneity, the ability of certain men an animals to act straight and fresh and self-forgettingly out of the living center of who they are without the paralyzing intervention of self-awareness. But the dream of daily life, no....I don't want to dream this day out. I want to live this day out. I want to live this day out as though it were the first day of my life because that is of course what it is....Live a day of it and see. Take any day and be alive in it. Nobody claims that it will be entirely painless, but no matter. Live this day out.

So I sat. And I listened. And I watched as the fireflies danced around in the cool air of the evening.

I love these moments!