March 4: Blood Tests

This morning at 8am, I finally put off the inevitable, my annual thyroid tests.  When I first had blood work done to test my thyroid it was every other week, then every month, every 6 months, now every year (unless I think something is off).  Well, the snow days delayed my annual visit and with a refill, I wasn't in any rush to get my numbers checked.  Anyway, this morning first thing, I went and had my blood taken (involuntarily).  I have gotten a lot better about needles, but I still don't like them.

February 10: Blessings

I am continually grateful for the ways in which God shows up.  Last week after a really stressful doctors appointment, I got a call from Texas State offering me a job.  Today, as I waited for test results, I received flowers and a card from Jan letting me know she was praying that God would show up in a big way.  Today was kind of a blessing in and of itself as I was busy with budget meetings (and lunch for Laurel's birthday) so I couldn't be too focused on a phone call.  Anyway, I received a call near the end of the day that my preliminary test results had come back clear!  The final test will come back in a few days, but they said the initial results are 95% accurate.  They mentioned I should follow up with my primary as there may be something else going on (this odd pressure).  Either way, thank you Jesus for the clear test results and for providing me peace in ways I couldn't imagine.

February 7: Tests & Trailers

Since moving to Athens in 2010, I have made three trips to Athens diagnostic.  The first was for an MRI, the second an ultrasound (back in 2011) and the third was on Friday for more ultrasounds.  As nice as these people are, I hope I never have to see them again.  Frankly, I hope to never have any kind of ultrasound again unless it's because I'm pregnant (I even had an ultrasound done on my thyroid).  The technician said they'd read the results and I may know something as early as Monday (maybe).  I'm still praying it's nothing.  Jesus, please let it be nothing.

 

That evening, Tiffanie convinced me to go see the LEGO movie.  It was cute, although I didn't enjoy it as much as she did.  Although I'm not sure anyone (even the 11 year old next to me) enjoyed it as much as she did. ;)

 

One fun thing about going to 'kids' movies is you get to see lots of fun trailers for upcoming movies.  I am definitely excited about How to Train Your Dragon 2, Mr. Peabody & Sherman, and the Muppet's: Most wanted!

January 15: Stress(ful) Release

I don't like days with back to back meetings.  It doesn't leave much time to get things done.  Nor does it allow much time for interaction with students.  Today was one of those days.  It also doesn't help when meetings run over.  It wasn't a bad day, just busy.  Two highlights, however, were my deep tissue massage (25 minutes) and coming home to January and February's issues of real simple.  My back has been bugging me for awhile.  The knots and headaches at the base of my skull are not pleasant.  I know this dang PhD is doing a number on my body.  Anyway, I found a 30 minute block to get in and have them rub the left side of my back and neck.  I am so grateful for the health center.  Ohh it helped so much.  And...the lady told me I may qualify for medical massages (under my graduate student insurance).  Definitely something to talk with my doctor about (especially since I have to go see him for my annual thyroid appointment anyway).

Pre-Op Regimen

At noon today I began the pre-op regimen...I'm not sure what stinks more, the thought of surgery & recovery or all the pre-op stuff they're making me do (blood work, flushing my system, etc).

Kidding, I realize surgery will be worse, but still today's regimen is not pleasant either.

Major Life Change #3.2

On Tuesday I had a pre-op appointment for my upcoming surgery.  Yes folks, it's official.  September 14th at 10:30am (EST) I will be having surgery to remove my left ovary.  The pre-op appointment lasted four hours (yes, I typed that right).  During that FOUR hour appointment I had my finger pricked for iron, peed in a cup (twice), had three viles of blood drawn, a chest x-ray, and an EKG.  They also had a nice woman (Maggie) come in and present me with a goodie bag.  The goodie bag is filled with four different types of things to 'flush' my system the day before...fun. :/  The highlight of the appointment was the anesthesiologist...he was cute.  But not cute enough to discount all the other discomfort I went through ;)  But gotta look on the bright side, right?! 

So I will go into the hospital at 9am on Wednesday morning...oh and I can't get sick between now and then (and everyone seems to be getting sick).  From there they'll prep me for surgery.  The anesthesiologist said I may be under general anesthesia or maybe a spinal (like an epidural), but that will be decided on Wednesday between me and the dr.'s.  I will stay overnight in the hospital at least one night, maybe two.

The doctor seems to think I will be just fine to travel 10 days later for my grandpa's memorial service.  I am hoping and praying he's right.  The doctor said that part of recovery is mental and that I need to prepare myself for the pain.  To be honest, I don't know that I have much mental capacity right now.  Thus, this is a great opportunity for God to show up in a big way :)  Here is my list of prayer requests:

Wisdom for the doctors during the surgery
That my other ovary is perfectly healthy (no cysts, no nothing)
Pleading with God for strength (mental & physical) to make it through this
That I will feel peace leading up to the surgery

I am sure there are others too, and I covet your prayers during this time.  I know I serve a God who is bigger than all of this (death, grief, surgery).

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 22:24
For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from her but has listened to her cry for help.

Matthew 6:25-34
That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Major Life Changes #1-3

Lord, help me to believe in beginnings.

The last 416 days have been a struggle.  Although there have been some high moments, they have often been accompanied by sadness, grief, loss, and pain.  I know this PhD journey is a long and treacherous path, but if the next two years are anything like this last one...with all the major life changes (MLC), I think I may throw in the towel. 

And yet, most of this pain, sadness, grief, and loss have nothing to do with the PhD program.  When I first moved here, I went through the normal transitional issues (loosing professional identity, making new friends, becoming a student) not to mention the struggle to simply get out here (remember this?).  From there, my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer in early August.  (MLC #1) This was hard for me to reconcile.  I was angry and frustrated with doctors who didn't find the cancer earlier.  The Lord, however, was gracious and gave many opportunities to visit with my grandpa before he went to be with Jesus in July.

As I mentioned earlier, there were also joys throughout this last year.  I moved to Athens in a committed relationship to someone I worked with and had been seeing during my last semester at Baylor.  During that time of transition he was extremely gracious and supporting.  Although we knew distance would be a struggle, we were both committed to the relationship.  However, in November, I felt like our communication began to suffer.  It was difficult to connect, but when we did, it was good!  The holidays brought more challenges as he was in Texas and I was in California and Oregon.  Shortly into the spring semester, we had some good conversations about the direction of our relationship.  Although I was feeling the stress of distance and other factors, he was quick to affirm me and the priority that both I and our relationship held....then February came and things crumbled very quickly.  I wanted so desperately to believe his intentions, but his actions and words didn't align.  It was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I broke up with him while he was out in Atlanta for a conference (MLC#2).  The months after were somewhat disastrous.  It was hard to focus, hard to concentrate, and hard to grieve the loss of a long-term relationship that had marriage potential. 

Then a few weeks ago, after my tests to determine my tailbone pain, they discovered a dermoid cyst.  The cyst (most likely) has nothing to do with my tailbone, but is serious enough to put the tailbone pain on the back burner.  The cyst is about the size of an egg and resides in my ovary.  The most recently doctor I saw wants to remove my entire ovary (MCL #3).  At word of this, I began to cry.  I asked him about chances for getting pregnant in the future.  The conversation went like this:

Me:What does this mean for having kids?
Dr: Are you trying to get pregnant?
Me: No
Dr: Are you married?
Me: No
Dr: Are you just thinking long term?
Me: I just wanna keep my options open

Although this conversation makes the Dr. out to sound insensitive, I think he was actually trying to be understanding.  From here, he said that my other ovary should kick in and I should still have no problem getting pregnant (minus other factors; thyroid, age, etc).  We talked about lots of other medical type things and scheduled the surgery for September 14th (as of now).  This may change as I am suppose to be on a plane 10 days later for my grandpa's memorial service...I should know more after my Tuesday appointment.

All this to say, this year has been rough and filled with many major life changing moments.  And through it all, there are many songs and verses that have been reminders of God's faithfulness to me throughout this extremely trying year.  I know and believe God will work all things together for his good, and yet...I am SO ready for this year to be behind me and to welcome in a new one. 

Lord, help me to believe in beginnings.

Quick Update & Prayer Request

On Tuesday, I went to the doctor to have the MRI read.  To my surprise, the MRI revealed a cyst.  It's pretty amazing they found the cyst before it began causing me any pain (it's about 2.3 inches around) and a little shocking.  From there the doctors worked with me to scheduled ultrasounds and other appoitments to determine additional information.  After meeting with the obgyn, and after having the radiologist read the ultrasounds, they recommended I see a surgeon to have the cyst removed. 

Again, a bit of a shock.

But since Tuesday, I've had lots of people praying and I've had peace.  The doctors are pretty confident it's benign, although it is an unusual type of cyst.  I have an appointment scheduled for the 30th with a surgeon.  Depending on the type of surgery it's a 2-4 week recovery.  It's very inconvinient, but what a blessing that it was found before it caused pain or worse...burst. 

Please pray for my appointment on the 30th, that the less invasive procedure is an option or surgery, that it can be done quickly (as the semester will get more complicated), and that God will use this to bring him glory in some way. 

There are so many ways I've seen God go ahead of me in this situation already.  This is no surprise to Him even if it was to me!

MRI

Back in October, my mom came to visit.  On a three hour car ride, I noticed my bum began hurting.  Figuring it was probably just from spending too much time in the car I paid little attention.  As the month went on, and the pain continued, I scheduled an appointment with the doctor.  The woman said there wasn't much they could do and sent me home with some drugs.

Skip forward to June when my bum was still hurting.  Yeah, pain in the butt...literally.

So my new doctor at the University Health Center (Joy Ford...who is awesome!) recommended I see a specialist.  Of course, nothing is just that easy...right?!  Unfortunately, Joy recommended I see a specific doctor and the administrative woman made the appointment...with the WRONG doctor.  But I didn't realize that, until I was back in Joy's office for a torn ligament in my toe.  Yes friends, I tore a ligament in my toe by tripping on my pajama bottoms.  But that's another story.  Back to the bum.  After seeing the wrong doctor (a physical therapist), Joy set up an appointment for me with Dr. Doerr, a back, spine, and neck specialist.  

I saw him a couple weeks ago.  He is...quirky, but thorough.  After looking at the xrays, he decided we needed more information.  The exam revealed my tailbone is sensitive, and the xrays show my lowest disk may be smaller than should be.  Either may be causing my pain, thus he scheduled me for a pelvic MRI.  Its kind of like a buy one MRI get one free...we'll get more detailed pictures of both my lowest disk and my tailbone.

So the MRI.

I have had lots of friends who've had MRI's before and everything they told me was...not like my experience.  They took me to a private dressing area and handed me a set of scrubs (much nicer than the hospital gown).  Additionally, I was allowed to keep on any clothing that didn't have metal.  Honestly, getting my cartilage piercing out may have been the worst part of the whole thing.  :)  That or just trying to remain still through the loud clicking and beeping.  But really, they did everything to make the experience comfortable.  They allowed me to keep all my things in the room (locked with my own key), gave me ear plugs, offered me a blanket, gave me a pillow for under my head and knees...during one of the tests, the sound was kind of white noise like...and I could have probably gone to sleep if that test hadn't been one of the shortest.

The whole thing lasted about 45 minutes and I'll go back to Dr. Doerr next week to have the MRI read and discuss options.

Until the next update.

Extra Expenses

Moving is expensive. There are direct moving costs, Uhaul trailer, gas, hotel, etc. There are also indirect moving expenses like new cleaning products that you got rid of to make space, or a behind the toilet space saver because your new bathroom is going to be 2x2. Undoubtably there are also the fees for school, which is understandable. However, there are also hidden fees and expenses that one doesn't budget into their plan.

Now, I have been blessed. I have only had to purchase 2 boxes, wardrobe boxes to use in my transitional home. Otherwise, I would have been completely supplied with all the boxes I needed (I've accumulated them over the years).

So what are these unexpected fees, you might ask?!

Well.

Oil Change

Tire Rotation

Other car related concerns

Dentist Appointment**

Dr. Visit***

Parking Permit

And other miniscule costs that add up

**Today I went to the dentist. Afraid I may have a cavity in my front lower tooth, I scheduled an appointment before I headed out to Georgia (and lost my dental insurance). So today, she did a cleaning (yay) and even deep cleaned with a waterpik. This of course...not in the budget. AND...after 29.8 years of a clean bill of health, I mean, teeth, she found...cavities. I was in shock. AND, none of the cavities were in the place I thought. :/ She tried to comfort me by saying these are small cavities, the kind little kids get, they aren't really a big deal. No comfort.

On top of that, in talking with a friend who also has thyroid issues, she says her doctor told her to talk a calcium supplement because 1. people with thyroid problems don't metabolize calicum as well and 2. your thyroid can decrease your amount of saliva resulting in less ability to fight cavities...grrr...dentist agreed.

And, to make matters worse, the dentist can't get me in before I leave. So, I'm stuck. My options are...

1. Try and find another dentist here (in the next two weeks) that will fill the cavities

2. Cobra for a couple months so I can get them filled in GA

3. The University has a dental office on campus, after calling them, I found out student insurance doesn't cover basics. However, they said they would work with me to make it as affordable as possible (ie: small cavity may be able to be cleaned & sealed, which is cheaper).

4. Pay out the wazoo for dental care. Boo.

None of these options are great. Anyone have any other suggestions that I haven't thought of?

***Tomorrow I'll be heading to my general practitioner to get immunized. Fun. After thinking I was in the clear, I took a closer look and realized that I need a TB test (for sure) and maybe a tetanus (10 years is up in Aug 2011).

Additionally, if you were born in 1980 or later (great...just make the cut) you have to have a chicken pox vaccine. WHAT?! Well, fortunately, I've had the chicken pox...right, so no vaccine. Not totally...instead, I get to go in for a titer, where they test to see if I've had chicken pox. In some cases, if the chicken pox weren't severe enough, you have to get the vaccine. Crazy.

So all this to say, my indirect expenses for moving & starting school have increased. Not to mention the stress of trying to get all these things done in the next week and a half is adding unwanted stress.

Deep breaths.

Yes, sometimes I talk to myself :)

Doctors!

I don't like doctors. I never have. Not many people do. However, in the last year and half, things have changed. I have come to appreciate my doctors tremendously! I have a fabulous endocrinologist (thyroid), a wonderful eye doctor (who uses glasses with flip lenses to assess your eyes instead of new machines), and a great family practitioner (I could sing his praises).

Why this random information?

Well, I went to my family doctor today (Dr. Scott Blattman) and I was once again impressed by his knowledge. Without going into too much detail, he finds ways to communicate what's going on in ones body, possible treatment options, and the pros and cons of each. I love it. For someone who loves to collect all sorts of information (useless or otherwise), he's great!

So if you ever find yourself in Waco, Texas and in need of a general practitioner, I highly recommend him!

yet another visit

So on Monday, the 12th, I went back to the surgeon. He's decided enough is enough and he wants to remove the cyst and the right half of my thyroid. He wants to do this before Christmas, however, I have an appointment on December 5th with the endocrinologist (for a second opinion). All this to say, things are still pretty up in the air. I was really hoping and praying that draining it would take care of the problem. But ultimately he's concerned because it keeps coming back and apparently there is no absolute way to be sure that it's not cancerous unless you remove it. So...I'd appreciate your prayers for wisdom and guidance for the doctors as they try to figure this out and the same for me as I have to make decisions about surgeons, hospitals, etc, etc, etc. Thanks!

Late Posting

I went to the doctor the other day and got some great news…the cyst was indeed just that, a thyroid colloid nodule (cyst). Praise the Lord, what great news! In the same appointment, I also found out that the cavity is filling again, meaning, the cyst is back. What the dr hopes is that if we drain it a few more times, it will eventually stop filling and we can avoid surgery. My question is why is my thyroid doing this in the first place…so I hope to see and endocrinologist (thyroid specialist) and see what she recommends. Maybe his try it and see is the best course of action. Anyway, all that to say, although I am not excited about the thought of having my neck poked with needles again and again, I am very thankful that there were no abnormalities with the fluid…again, thank the Lord! Thank you for all your prayers!

Today's Highlights!

I just wanted to share the highlights of my day (thus far) with you!

Beginning with last week:
On Wednesday, the referral specialist called me with an appointment with a surgeon (Dr. Turney). The appointment was scheduled for this morning at 10am. When I called the surgeons office to get directions, I asked how long the procedure (FNA test) would take. She assured me that it would simply be a consultation. Not having full confidence in her or her ability to determine if it would be a consultation or FNA test, I called back the next day. That day, I spoke with another woman who also assured me that it was just a consultation. (uh huh…)

So today:
Karen Hall (one of the other hall directors) accompanied me to the appointment, in order to insure I was well taken care of; just in case they decided to start sticking me with needles. So we get there around 10, after having a little driving tour of another medical building. I begin filling out endless paperwork signing away my life.

At 10:50 we finally head back to see the doctor. As standard procedure goes, they take my weight, temperature, and of course, my blood pressure. The nurse straps on the cuff and it tightens. The pressure begins to release and…just kidding, tightens again…and again…and again. Four attempts on the right arm and three on the left and we finally have a blood pressure rate!

After going into the room, we wait again. The doctor finally comes in at 11:10ish. At that point he looks at my neck, feels around, and bluntly states that he will be performing the FNA test today. So sure enough, I panic a little. He tries to be very calming but he obviously doesn’t know my distaste for needles! He assures me it’s only going to feel like a prick and is trying to keep me occupied while they get the supplies ready. I lay back on the table and close my eyes trying to focus on my breathing and Karen’s jokes. As the doctor approaches the table he begins talking to me again at which point I opened my eyes…yikes…I looked at the doctor holding a needle in his hand. As Karen informed me later, that was only the numbing needle. Needless to say I kept my eyes closed for the rest of the procedure. So…it wasn’t the end of the world, however, definitely tricked, I felt the other (much larger needle according to Karen) go into my neck and stay there. The good news is that the lump is gone. He decided to drain the entire cyst at once. The bad news was that while they were draining the cyst, the vile filled and I had to sit and wait (with the needle in my neck) while the nurse prepared another vile to drain the remainder of the cyst. After all was said and done I took a look at the lovely liquid drained. It was brown black…which apparently is a good thing.

So now what?! I have to go back on Thursday, October 18th for a follow up…which hopefully means just that. At that time, they should also have the results and let me know how to proceed. I ask that you continue to pray for peace as I wait for these test results (more waiting, woohoo). And I thank you all for your prayers during this time.